Bullies are People Too

I must admit on a personal level I struggle a bit with this one. Having a bad day, or even a rough life does not give anyone a free pass to be mean to others. However, it may explain why some do. I believe some people have perfectly beautiful lives and choose to be mean to others anyway. Those people are eventually either weeded out of society or become politicians. Or maybe not. ☺

People's actions and reactions are generally based on survival or the perceived need to promote survival in that situation. Poor home lives, including but not limited to physical and other abuse, could cause one to feel so low about themselves that they have an inner need to make others even lower. It is their way of allowing themselves to feel some sense power or self worth. The need for both is universal and vital. The ways to achieve these perhaps should be discussed more. We tell people "Don't be a bully", "be nice to others", and to "treat other people how you want to be treated". That's great if you are at a place emotionally that you can do that. How do you pick yourself up when beaten down? How do you see yourself as valuable when life has told you otherwise?

The role of the ally is discussed in detail in the S.A.Y. presentations. Many ways to deflect a bullying situation or to assist the victim is talked about. How about more tools for the bully to fulfill their inner needs without being a bully? We obviously do not want to promote feeding negative behavior. Creating a distraction is often one of the suggestions for an ally to aid a victim and distract the bully. This tool would actually benefit both the victim and the bully. I am sure there are many more tools to be unearthed. Most of these tools need to be utilized when not in a bullying situation. Give those at risk of behaving as a bully their tools before they fall into the bully role.

It is still the students that have most of the power here. They are in the best position to make a difference for the bullies, the victims, their schools, and really their communities. As we have learned through our research, and reminded in our presentations, out of every ten people their is generally one bully and one victim. That leaves eight possible allies. That is more allies than there are teachers, principals, or anyone else! The answer obviously lies with the allies.

I think I will leave some of this to discuss in my next blog post... my wheels are definitely turning ☺