Every once in awhile someone says something that lingers in my thoughts. It bounces around from agreement, to confusion, disagreement, or simply unsure. I spend countless minutes dissecting the intent of the comment. Do I agree with the intent it was meant? Or, perhaps I do agree, but with my own spin.
Every once in awhile, I just get right to the point. ☺ Yesterday we were at a local elementary school 6th grade class. We were there for a S.A.Y. part One presentation. After the presentations we had the opportunity to visit with the teacher. We also heard her "follow up" to the presentation to her class.
She shared with us (and her class) her memories of being teased in school. As a result she has very strong emotions about the subject. Her words of wisdom to her class was what she admits is what she tells her own children. "Don't play the victim". I thought I understood her point. I even discussed it a bit with her. It is important not to own that role no matter how forcefully or frequently it is thrust at you. To that extent, I agree. That was yesterday.
Since then the comment has laid residence in my thoughts. While driving, working, various other activities, I stop and ponder it yet again. What is it that I am finding so objectionable? I thought of Dave's book, The "R" Word. In his book, he asks those who had been bullied, why they were bullied. I don't remember the exact responses. I do remember that each of them took responsibility for the act. "Because I am fat" or "I get teased because I wear glasses". Dave is quick to correct such thinking. No! You are bullied because people are mean! The basic idea was that their weight or disability didn't cause someone to become a bully.
I know the teacher meant well. I truly think that the majority of us to the best we can with the tools we possess. That would be in our professions, are parenting, life in general. I assume that her children and her students know her well enough to recognize her beautiful intent. I, personally, feel too much is put on the bullied already.
Bystanders- man up! There are for more of you than bullies, victims, or teachers!!! We need to give the kids the tools, and the courage to be allies. Let's instill integrity. Teach them to be a voice for those not yet strong enough to find their own. Coach them in building up their peers and standing up for what is right. Assist them in recognizing those with harmful intent and not feeding their negative behaviors. Be a role model.
However, I do give a great big Kudos to the teacher for addressing the subject. She is at least making it a discussion. She does not have the attitude that bullying and teasing is simply part of growing up. The idea of watching someone struggle because you are unsure of the "tools" to use is unacceptable. Do your best. That is all we expect from our kids. That is all that they expect from us too.
Every once in awhile, I just get right to the point. ☺ Yesterday we were at a local elementary school 6th grade class. We were there for a S.A.Y. part One presentation. After the presentations we had the opportunity to visit with the teacher. We also heard her "follow up" to the presentation to her class.
She shared with us (and her class) her memories of being teased in school. As a result she has very strong emotions about the subject. Her words of wisdom to her class was what she admits is what she tells her own children. "Don't play the victim". I thought I understood her point. I even discussed it a bit with her. It is important not to own that role no matter how forcefully or frequently it is thrust at you. To that extent, I agree. That was yesterday.
Since then the comment has laid residence in my thoughts. While driving, working, various other activities, I stop and ponder it yet again. What is it that I am finding so objectionable? I thought of Dave's book, The "R" Word. In his book, he asks those who had been bullied, why they were bullied. I don't remember the exact responses. I do remember that each of them took responsibility for the act. "Because I am fat" or "I get teased because I wear glasses". Dave is quick to correct such thinking. No! You are bullied because people are mean! The basic idea was that their weight or disability didn't cause someone to become a bully.
I know the teacher meant well. I truly think that the majority of us to the best we can with the tools we possess. That would be in our professions, are parenting, life in general. I assume that her children and her students know her well enough to recognize her beautiful intent. I, personally, feel too much is put on the bullied already.
Bystanders- man up! There are for more of you than bullies, victims, or teachers!!! We need to give the kids the tools, and the courage to be allies. Let's instill integrity. Teach them to be a voice for those not yet strong enough to find their own. Coach them in building up their peers and standing up for what is right. Assist them in recognizing those with harmful intent and not feeding their negative behaviors. Be a role model.
However, I do give a great big Kudos to the teacher for addressing the subject. She is at least making it a discussion. She does not have the attitude that bullying and teasing is simply part of growing up. The idea of watching someone struggle because you are unsure of the "tools" to use is unacceptable. Do your best. That is all we expect from our kids. That is all that they expect from us too.
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